Have you ever noticed that most of the parenting blogs & Instas are of younger families? Is it just me or is that the case? And in fact is that the case with most blogs/ bloggers in general, is it a young persons game? Well I don’t fall into that category, I will be 40 this year and I have daughters aged 12 & 14 and for me, navigating this stage in our families life has thrown up some serious unknown territory.
When they were babies it was hard yes, the sleepless nights, the fear of not being able to fully understand one cry to the next, the complete loss of identity that assigned you solely to the role of mother, milker, etc. and the constant monitoring, who remembers a time when they could go to the toilet in peace? But with that, for me there was a sense of control, I was in charge. I could dictate where they were and what they did, they were extensions of me, I could keep them close, safe and for the best part, they believed mumma knew best. Then after a couple of years, you get into the groove and you feel for a short period of time you’ve got this parenting lark nailed. Which we all quickly learn is a false sense of security as it all changes, just when you think it gets easier you find yourself – turning into your MOTHER!! You hear yourself repeating the very same words your mother once said to you (something we all never believe and swear will never happen!!).
We have given our eldest the nickname Thomas, as in Thomas the Tank Engine as she has the eye roll down to a T, she also has an RBF that rivals mine. Then there’s mini-me who seems to be entering this phase earlier than her sister did, which seems unfair to her and me! The result, greater confusion and heightened emotions from both parties.
I constantly find myself questioning how do I keep them on the straight and narrow without being a dictator? How do I guide them whilst letting them become and develop their own identity?
Daily I find myself faced with these beautiful, strong, independent females and I am terrified, how do I stop them making the same mistakes I made (which I have to as there were some big ones!), how do I keep them safe when they are wanting to go it alone, they are too precious to take any chances, and then there’s trying to convince them that my opinion (the one that takes into account safety, wellness and the whole family) is the right one.
So if any of you out there have come up with a foolproof plan to get through the tween/ teen stage of parenting, please share your knowledge and words of wisdom. Please, fellow bloggers, hear my plea, how do you and are you navigating your way through the same unknown territory or are you just winging it? If so let’s embrace this stage of motherhood together, or at least share a virtual bottle of vino together!!